Soooooo! I’m officially getting older. I have longed dreaded this moment for, well, weeks. haha ^.^ You know when your older, everyone is all like, you are now getting wiser and more experienced blah bullshit blah. I don’t freaking feel any different, if anything, I feel more retarded and slow LOL. But, no, in all seriousness I just feel nothing has changed at all. I just feel myself getting less cooler and hip with the younger crowd which is so SAD! I am dreading actually physically getting old. That moment when you feel every flab of your body sagging being weighed down by gravity. Nasty gross “love handles” dying my hair every week to cover the grays, becoming the “cougar” or crazy old lady, wearing old people clothes….OMG….just thinking about it is SO DEPRESSING! Getting old is horrible! I rather go back to my days of childhood (The 90’s ) and not giving a shit and playing video games all damn day!
I mean kids nowadays have it all. They just sit their asses in front of the TV. They don’t really have to do homework because you can just GOOGLE or WIKIPEDIA every homework question. They have computers, IPADS, IPODS, 3D gaming systems and all this crap that just makes this generation even more stupid. YUP! I’m hating straight hating on dem chirrins! *eye roll* sigh.
Anyways, like I said getting old sucks ass because everyone has this huge expectation of you to be responsible. Work your ass off like a slave, make money, buy a house, pay your bills, have a car, get married and have babies. Then be a slave to your husband and children LOL. Greedy bitches *Second eye roll*
Well here are some “You know your old when” jokes: 😛
1. 6:00AM is when you get up, not when you finally go to bed.
2. Smirnoff or wine coolers is no longer cool
3. A “late night” is now 11pm
4. Half the stuff in your Amazon cart is in your wish list cart
5. All you want for your birthday is not to be reminded of your age
6. House parties turn into clubs, clubs turn into bars, bars turn into lounge, and lounges turn into Netflix nights with a bottle of wine.
7. Everyone you know is either engaged, married or having their second child.
8. Your Facebook timeline is all babies #NobodyCaresAboutYourUglyChild
9. Sex is now being scheduled like your doctor’s appointments
10. when kids say “turnt up” or “swag” you confide in urban dictionary.com
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